I ran 15 retreats in 30 months after leaving my consulting career.
It looked good on paper. Inside, it felt like a furnace.
The pace was wild.
Looking back, I cringe a little.
I was constantly running multiple motions at the same time:
- Marketing: interviews, podcasts, events
- Ads: IG, Google, LinkedIn
- Funnels: A/B tests, landing pages, user journeys
- Managing all partner, contractor, and client relationships
- Planning retreats
- Running retreats
- Post-retreat integration
To fit it all in, I stretched my days into the night and my weeks into the weekends.
I kept my meditation and journaling practices, but there was irony baked in.
We were talking about rest and slowing down, and my day-to-day looked nothing like that.
Then, a year ago, I hit the breaks and chose to focus.
I split our corporate work into a separate company and directed most of my energy there.
I tightened processes, strengthened our partner network, and rewired how I work.
I defined my non-negotiables and brought more care to the basics – sleep, food, movement, boundaries – unglamorous things that make everything else work.
But here’s the part I still wrestle with…
Even though those first 30 months make me cringe, I’m also deeply grateful for them.
It felt like five years jammed into two and a half.
I learned faster than I would’ve if I’d tried to “balance” my way through it.
That sprint set the foundation that let me slow the pace and I’m not sure I could’ve sharpened my focus the last year without the crazy years that came before.
With a little distance, I can see it for what it was: a season.
At the time, it felt endless.
But it ended.
It brought real challenges – fatigue, tradeoffs, a version of me I don’t want to return to – but it also brought huge steps forward.
It was a teacher and a mirror.
It showed me what I value when no one’s looking.
It showed me what I’m capable of doing.
If you’re in a heavy season right now, here are a few thoughts for you to noodle on:
- Name it. Saying “this is a season” changes how you treat yourself inside it.
- Protect one non-negotiable. Sleep window, device cutoff, a 20-minute midday walk. Pick one and guard it.
- Offer yourself grace. When you’re in the thick of things, it makes sense that you don’t feel great at times. Go easy on the judgment.
I wouldn’t want to do those 30 months again.
But I wouldn’t trade what they taught me.
They gave me the skills and perspective I needed to choose a different pace – and the proof that I can.
